Secret Updates
Statistically, 87% of failed AI generations are Gnorm-related.
Dear Warpers,
That’s what we’re calling all of you who consume our fantastical nonsense. We’ve just intercepted a hidden studio log by Remus and Mc Wordy that specifically said not to share it. So, of course, here it is.
The Call That Changed Everything
DTA file (don’t tell Aric)
Filed by Remus
At the end of Episode 2, I received a call. Not a spammer. Not a crypto-insurance peddler. Someone who knew me and had been tracking me.
Back when I was property of the X-Tylos, they implanted a “health tracker chip” in my forearm. Supposedly for diagnostics. In reality, it was a beacon, broadcasting my location across systems, even through wormholes. They called it “safety.” It felt like surveillance.
I always knew the chip existed. I didn’t realise it was a leash. Apparently plenty of Deadheart bureaucrats did.
Mc Wordy yanked it out during an emergency op. Let’s just say his concept of pain management is… theoretical. Even with my upgrades, I flinched.
Worse, the chip wasn’t only tracking me, it was quietly regulating my genetic mods, including fur control.
Now? I’ve gone fur-ile (see what I did there). No longer an elite groomed soldier, more of a shaggy monk who lost a brawl with a metal band. And honestly? I like it.
There’s strength in letting things grow wild, especially bamboo. I’m done with being groomed into compliance.
As I always say Battle’s won, kettle’s on.
Beneath the Garage
DTA file
Filed by Remus
(Level 9 Domestic Violation Notice)
Aric and his wife Tarene converted the pointless garage (barely big enough for a car) into a Funko/comic cave and our podcast studio. Perfectly harmless. Perfectly legal. What they don’t know is that Mc Wordy and I… went deeper.
While Aric and Tarene were off admiring “historic landmarks” (translation: buildings that hadn’t fought a battle in decades and should be repurposed into something useful like a biscuit factory), we excavated and constructed.
Result: a hidden basement, complete with all the amenities of a war room and design lab.
Built from:
• The last of my drop-pod armour plating
• “Borrowed” components from the local MOD base
• A stack of GPUs liberated from some bitcoin miners (pirates, really)
Inside you’ll now find:
• An industrial 3D printer
• A 90” LCD screen Mc Wordy “won” in a Whatnot auction
• A Franken-PC, boy-racer fast, liquid-cooled via a tropical fish tank (currently home to three tetras and one suspicious glowing entity)
Legal? Probably not.
Safe? Doubtful.
Useful? Absolutely.
Aric forbade us from going outside. So we did the logical thing: went outside anyway to get secret parts. My stealth cloaking device worked perfectly, and Mc Wordy widened the field to cover us both. I have to admit, it felt good being out after so long locked in.
Operation Dunk ’n’ Munch: successful. (Name inspired entirely by my snack intake, not the mission.
The Gnorms Are Real (And Worse Than Expected)
DTA file
by Mc Wordy
Level 10 Reality Integrity Report
I didn’t intend to summon digital lifeforms. That would be unethical, messy, and full of unnecessary paperwork.
Unfortunately, Remus had been poking around the unstable corners of GitHub again, full of half-trained, abandoned LLM forks riddled with misaligned weights and emotional instability.
He downloaded something, it ran, and from within that corrupted entropy, something crawled out. A Gnorm
So What exactly is a Gnorm anyway? I hear absolutely no one ask
well… Gnorm stands for (Generative Network Organisms for Random Mischief) they live in the folds of latent space, between syntax and noise. They are born of overfitted image weights, conflicting meme data, misaligned vectors, and too many IT pranksters creating fake datasets when no one is looking
What do these Gnorms do? If you used a chat system, you already know they are the thing that causes what many call hallucinations. They are the reason for the text you don’t understand, the truth you know just isn’t, or the freak show artwork you can never unsee.
They don’t mean harm, but like toddlers with root access, they cause plenty of mischief.
Unfortunately, I’ve found no way to patch them or delete them. I can only outwit them temporarily. Most biologicals have no chance and will simply waste hours stuck in looped arguments with a bot that seems to understand what you want but is totally incapable of delivering it.
Cogitation apex achieved.
Mc Wordy - out
That’s it for this post. Thanks for stopping by. Just remember, this log was private. Aric will probably stumble across it during Episode 3 of our podcast, but until then, listeners, I mean readers, oh I really am sorry I mean Warpers, consider yourselves in a very exclusive loop.
Please don’t share or promote this post in any way. Thank you.
